Queer in the San Fernando Valley

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Gay Marriage: What the FUCK!? by Sue-Ann Post

Let me say up front that as someone who has been ‘out’ as a lesbian for 27 years, I just don’t get this push for gay marriage. I don’t understand why it has become a headline issue in the push for equal human rights, especially when our rights in other areas are being slowly eroded by some state governments. In the ‘80s we fought for the right to be different. Now it seems that we’re fighting for the right to be the same. I don’t get it.

Having our relationships recognised as valid and legal is one thing, but why on earth go as far as wanting to get married? I’m not the only one who thinks this way. One of the saddest things I’ve seen at a Pride March was two years ago where a lone, brave man carried a sign saying, ‘I don’t want to get married. Do I still belong?’ I have two major problems with marriage, gay or straight. For starters, marriage is the ultimate symbol of monogamy and I’m not monogamous. Even if my brain suddenly exploded and I decided that I wanted to get married, which of my girlfriends should I marry and which should I leave swinging in the wind? More importantly, I think of marriage as a pitiful, mediaeval relic of an institution with a 50% failure rate that requires people to make completely unrealistic promises. When the marriage vows were written, average life expectancy was 35. Even with the best of intentions, the framers of marriage could never have expected that a bond of lifelong monogamy could end up lasting for 30, 40 or 50 years. Even they might have baulked at that prospect.

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I have a Bachelor's degree in Language & Cultures/Japanese with Queer Studies minor from CSUN.